Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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