why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
