I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
