I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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