I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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