The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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