You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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