I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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