I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
