can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
