I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
