that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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