names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
