I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
