Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
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