Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
