i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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