So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
