I cockslap morals
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
that may or may not have been my penis.
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