it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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