Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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