I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
