When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I need to wash the frat house off of me
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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