The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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