omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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