if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
