Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
