the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
True strength comes from lack of pants
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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