You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I love you.
Bad choice
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
