I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
