garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
