Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Randomize
