Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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