they said they heard you say put it in my butt
bring money and cleavage
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I would ride that face into the sunset
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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