she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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