At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
