I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
