dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
