so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
