they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
