ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize