K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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