Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Randomize
