guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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