Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
