it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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