You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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