Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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