So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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