I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
