just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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