So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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