Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
