i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
